How do I work through depression?
I don’t.
The end.
Just kidding.
Depression is something everyone faces at some point in our lives, and it’s a natural reaction to grief and loss. There’s so much to say about this, but I’ll just focus on how I deal with it.
Therapy
When I was younger I went through a lot of therapy. I also attended years of therapy later in my life as well. I’ve learned so many strategies that have helped me, and I’m grateful I’ve had these opportunities.
I’m not in constant therapy. However, whenever I know I’m going to have a challenging time with things, I contact a therapist. And I’ll go to therapy for a few months.
In 2020, I had a feeling it was going to be a hard year even before everything happened. December 2019, I had to move, and I also had to put my dog down. I was in a lot of pain and shock, so I signed up for therapy soon after.
It helped because Covid happened a few months later, but I was already in therapy to help me through this. I went for a half a year until I felt better about things.
At first, I will try to work things out on my own, using strategies that I’ve learned, but I’ll be honest with myself, and if I’m stuck, I’ll see a therapist for a few months.
Inner Circle
I’ll be honest. I do share a lot on social media, but I don’t share everything I’m experiencing. There are parts of me that I want to keep private that I don’t feel that the world needs to know. I value privacy. I try to be careful with what I share with others, and it’s easy to overshare. Not everyone knows how to react to personal problems or trauma, so to avoid creating a more negative experience, I’m very selective with whom I share my feelings with.
However, I do have a small circle of people I will call and check in with. Through experience, I’ve learned to lean on a few friends and family members who don’t judge me, who listen, and love me no matter what. I am also there for them whenever they are going through tough times—it’s reciprocal.
Journaling
I have a love / hate relationship with journaling. I journal a lot, but I’ve changed the way that I approach it. I think the problem with journaling is sometimes it keeps the story alive, festering, and continuing. At some point, you have to let the story go. I think journaling can prolong suffering and anger. Sometimes writing only keeps these negative experiences alive.
Rather than journaling the same traumatic experiences over and over again, I write down how I’m feeling. What is my mood? I try to get those emotions on paper because, a lot of times, I’ll ignore or distract myself from how I feel. It’s my way of confronting myself and realizing what’s going on underneath.
Music
One of the first things I turn to when I’m feeling down is music. I don’t know what it is, but that’s my go to. I dabble in a lot of arts, but when I’m depressed, one the first thing that I pick up is my guitar. It’s what I’ve always done. A guitar is a great listener, and it doesn’t judge—it just compliments my feelings.
I listen to music as well. I’ll explore soundtracks and search for new songs. Eventually, I’ll find a song that says exactly how I feel, and I’ll connect with it. It will be the sound track to my life for a while.
Sometimes I don’t have the words to express exactly how I feel, and music helps shape those statements for me.
Lastly, each depressive episode I experience is unique, and sometimes they require different strategies and perspectives. But the ones I listed above are very consistent in my life.
I hope this helps.